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March 04, 2007

The Next Time Someone Says "Good Morning..."

...Return the Morning Greeting and you may end up with a friend for life.

Sometimes people come into your life without reason and then things change and you never see them again for a long time, but when you do run into each other, it is as time never moved forward. How often is it that we tell someone “thanks for being there for me” or that you “appreciated their company?” Sometimes we may think it, but I know I hardly ever say it. And then one day they are gone. And you feel a void in your life. And you know you can’t ever go back. But you can take those memories and reflect back and hope to learn from those experiences.

While friends of mine were working “in the city”, I worked on Long Island. I liked having a reverse commute (or no commute when my office was 5 minutes from home) and then one day I ended up with a job at the World Trade Center and just like that, I joined the world of the rush hour commuter, choosing to take the train and the subway to work each day.

Commuting to Manhattan on the 6.27 AM train on the Long Island Rail Road could have been a lonely experience. And it was for me, for maybe a day or two, until someone said “Good Morning” to me and that person found a way to continue the conversation with me all the way into Manhattan. The person who reached out and to me was a person by the name of Norman Zuller. Norm made my morning commute to NYC an enjoyable experience when I made the commute daily with him from 1993 to 1996.

Norm knew quite a number of the people who were commuting on the early train. The train was his domain. And if he saw someone new, he wasn’t shy, he just went over and said hello. While some people would rather sleep an extra 30 minutes in the morning, Norm was always there to share his presence and smile and talk and just be there.

Norm was a warm and caring man and someone who I was glad to have as a friend. Since I was new to the daily commute, he showed me the ropes and told me the exact place to stand to on the platform to get to where the train doors would be. (Trust me...in the rain and the cold this was important information to have.)

While we first started talking about nothing, somehow we managed to talk about life in general and about work. I was working in Systems at Cantor Fitzgerald Securities and Norm was in the Jewelry business and had a store on 47th street. Over the years, Norm was there when my kids were born and I managed to become one of his customers. While we kept in touch, months and sometimes years would go by in between our visits. When we did speak, Norm always asked about my family and how things were, and he was there as a friend.

A few days ago I heard the news that my friend had passed away. He was 80 years old and as recently as a month ago, he was still making his daily commute. He never believed in retiring. He was a man committed to family and to his friends and to his business. And while I had only met one of his three kids during our daily commute, when I went to his home to pay my respects to his surviving wife and family, I felt a connection to everyone. Turns out that his family knew me even, though we never formally met. And I realized that you just never now how one person’s outward friendliness could turn into a lifetime of friendship. It was while I was visiting his family and hearing about all of his friends who his family didn’t know he had that I realized what an amazing and caring man he really was.

Norm, we miss you.

Tags: Norman Zuller, Jeff Pulver

Posted by jeff on March 4, 2007 07:34 AM | Permalink

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Comments

Great piece, Jeff...thanks for sharing. Norm, we hardly knew ya!

Posted by: K² at March 4, 2007 08:49 PM

Well written and evocative tribute, Jeff.
Your words helped me know a bit about Norm.

Posted by: Barbara at March 4, 2007 07:45 PM