The Jeff Pulver Blog: The “Obligations” of Social Networking

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May 04, 2007

The “Obligations” of Social Networking

I’ve been on LinkedIn since the Fall of 2003, and along the way have also explored quite a number of other social networks.

When I first got started on LinkedIn, I sent out about a dozen invitations to friends to join and thought it would be interesting to just be a member and see what happens over time. To date, I have yet to request to be introduced to anyone on LinkedIn and yet I somehow now have 1245 “connections.”

It turns out that social networking introduction request spam is becoming an increasing noticeable source of spam in my inbox.

During the past couple of months, I’ve noticed an increase in the number of people on LinkedIn trying to use me to make a connection with someone, in most cases from someone whom I hardly know. What most people on social networks fail to recognize is that in real life “an introduction is an endorsement” and yet it seems that strangers want me to forget about this in the virtual world and just make the introduction.

I have no issue introducing two people who are friends of mine to each other but I generally hesitate blindly introducing a total stranger to a friend since I generally wouldn’t want this happening to myself.

As far as I’m concerned, people shouldn’t be shy in trying to make a direct introduction on behalf of themselves. What is the worst thing someone can do? Ignore your request? As long as the person sending email to: jeffp@pulver.com isn’t yet another college student asking me to in effect help them write their term paper on disruptive communications, I’m generally pretty good at replying to email requests from people whom I don’t know or don’t remember.

I’m not so sure what the obligations of social networking really are but I for one, no longer feel obligated to “take action” to forward link requests from strangers to my friends.

Tags: social Networks, linkedin, Jeff Pulver

Posted by jeff on May 4, 2007 08:21 AM | Permalink

Additional resources: #140conf events | Watch the Jeff Pulver Show | Jeff's Qik Videos

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Of all the social networks, I have probably the least understanding of what LinkedIN will *really* do for me. Chris Penn has lots of thoughts on this. He uses the mail network. He seems to get jobs sourced through it.

Not me. It never works that way for me. Recently, I sent out requests for endorsements, and promised a one-for-one response. And I've done most of them. I think I owe two or three. But otherwise, AFTER the experience, I thought: so now what? What will I do with those? Will I send someone to my LinkedIN to get them to figure out I'm a good or bad guy or something? I have no idea.

But you're right about the introductions. I haven't had that too often, but I could see it being a moment to question.

Posted by: Chris Brogan... at May 5, 2007 10:24 AM

I recently came accross the blog of the guy who wrote the 4 hour work week book. His linked in badge was right there on his blog so I clicked it and asked linked in to see of we had any connections. Turns out he knows Chris Penn, Chris is one of my connections so that would allow for me to ask for an introduction.

But then I asked myself...WHY do I want an introduction? I had no real reason, just that it was easy enough to do with a few clicks. So I did not ask for an introduction, I just made a note (del.icio.us) for future reference.

I think the beauty of linked in is that it allows us to get to places we would not have been able to before. Recently I wanted to contact a major wireless carrier for a consult proposal (I produce fitness videos for cell phones) and I couldn't just call customer service of Cingular and expect to get anywhere, but an introduction through a linked in connection (who I also know in real life) got me in the door.

So in this sense I am with the real life camp. If you wouldn't shake hands and develop a real connection in real life why would you online?

Posted by: Jason White, CSCS at May 4, 2007 10:38 PM

Kfir sums it up perfectly - who would introduce/endorse a total stranger to a friend just because they randomly asked you? (in real life)?

Posted by: mike at May 4, 2007 04:34 PM

Hey Jeff-
I stumbled into a Verizon blog that they posted about you getting FIOS. You know your someone when Verizon posts that your using their service :) http://policyblog.verizon.com/policyblog/blogs/policyblog/czblogger1/271/jeff-pulver-gets-fios-.aspx
I was also curious to note that you didn't mention anything about Ed Whitacre of AT&T announcing his retirement in your blog. What's your opinion of his legacy after he boldly lead the USA into the #15 spot for most wired country in the world despite that we are a distant #1 in revenue and resources available?
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Posted by: Rocky Ahmann at May 4, 2007 01:45 PM

FYI, shortly after writing my previous reply (below), I discovered that the removal of the email address requirement in LinkedIn is now a configurable option. If you want to go back to requiring someone to know your email address to send you a connection request, you can change your account setting: http://www.disruptiveconversations.com/2007/05/update_on_linke.html

Posted by: Dan York at May 4, 2007 12:31 PM

Social networks ARE real life networks, but I know what you are getting at, Chris Penn. From the perspective of one who might want to be introduced, I would work through people I knew in some sort of capacity-- or get to know the person somehow.

A network is a series of links. If I don't know Jeff Pulver, I would get an introduction through a mutual contact, then get to know Jeff and vice-versa by proving I am smart, adding some value in conversation, or some other way. i.e. Cultivate a relationship before asking favors.

Common sense, just like in offline relationships. In many ways I don't think there are fundamental differences between offline and online networks. Also, mixing all your offline networks is essential.

Posted by: Doug Haslam at May 4, 2007 11:49 AM

Jeff,
I share your concerns. I've been a LinkedIn user since sometime in 2004 and have applied a very strict policy of only linking to people I that actually know or have worked with in some fashion. Back in August 2005, I wrote on my old blog about this very issue as "Promiscuous linking, LinkedIn, and the dilution of webs of trust" (note the reply from a LinkedIn founder):

http://dyork.livejournal.com/105050.html

As to "social networking introduction/request spam", I think it's only going to continue to get worse as we have more and more networks created. With LinkedIn specifically, I have to wonder if we'll see even more introduction requests as people figure out that it seems that LinkedIn is no longer requiring an email address to make a connection ( http://www.disruptiveconversations.com/2007/04/linkedin_remove.html ). I actually *liked* that feature because it imposed at least a minimal barrier that people had to surmount to connect with you.

To me, it is all about trust, and trust does matter... and so I'll just keep declining the invitations I receive from people where I have no clue who they are.

Posted by: Dan York at May 4, 2007 11:19 AM

I agree with Jeff, that referral implies some level of endorsement. But the problem online is that our level of personal attachments are sometimes hard to measure. Since PodCamp Boston, I've developed several business relationships/friendships, but because of distance, it's harder to say I really know these people the same way I know my neighbors at home.

For example, I've done projects with Chris Brogan, and thus, indirectly for you, but I can't say other than saying hi to you and me being totally intimidated and shy (my fault) at Podcamp Boston that I know you, Jeff. But I also wouldn't dream of asking you for any endorsements or connections, because that would simply be inappropriate.
However, in the reverse, I would not hesistate very long before saying to someone I know that they should stop by your blog or try to get to know you, if your work interests dovetail.

It seems presumptious to ask a virtual friend for an introduction, but if they offer, then that seems fine. Just like in the real world, I'll offer to introduce people I know to others, but rarely ask for these introductions on my own- I guess it seems self-serving and inauthentic. I'd rather cold call.

Posted by: whitney hoffman at May 4, 2007 11:19 AM

I treat LinkedIn as an extension of my real world social network. I get 'lets connect' requests from people I don't know, that look like thinly veiled business pitches. I decline any who I don't know or are not introduced by someone I trust.

On the flip side, I've gotten link requests from clients, which is an opportunity to grow a relationship. Out of the blue, I received a request from a big wheel at MTV yesterday, who I haven't seen in months. The request started a conversation.

Posted by: Eric Rochow at May 4, 2007 11:08 AM

I decline stuff all the time on linkedin. Lately when I've been attending trade shows (like say, ummm, VON), when I get back I get numerious "lets connect" requests from the vendors. People I've talked to for 1 minute and given my card to. These requests get declined, no comment sent. I also get lots of requests for endorsements. *If* I feel really strongly positively for someone I might write one. Otherwise I just ignore it. Likewise if someone is trying to use me to reach someone; I stop to consider if the person they are trying to reach would welcome the introduction or not. Sometimes I call them and ask them if they would take the intro.

PS this whole endorsement thing is a pet gripe of mine about LinkedIn. It's like they are encouraging people to stick their hands out for endorsements. This isn't how endorsements ought to work in my opinion. Maybe we should organize a boycott. Everytime someone asks for an endorsement we could write "Boycott LinkedIn Endoresments". OK I'm not serious but I do find the feature irritating.

Posted by: Steve Smith at May 4, 2007 09:47 AM

My rule for LinkedIn is that I must have met the person or know they fairly well online to add them.

As for introductions I'm with you that I treat them very carefully. I've only forwarded one along from someone I did not know very well and I put that right in the message to the person I was forwarding along. I told them that I was just trying to help the conversation move along, but that I could not professionally vouch for someone.

It is a fine line and I like to be completely open with everyone I'm talking with in both directions.

Posted by: C.C. at May 4, 2007 09:43 AM

I take a somewhat different viewpoint - to me, it's a given social norm that social networks have little or nothing to do with real life networks. They're just an evolution of search, except instead of topics, it's people search. When I receive an introduction request or something to forward, I generally use it as a branding opportunity. Obviously, if an introduction request is worded badly or obviously spam, I just can it, but I think there's value in being the hub of a large network, even if it's somewhat impersonal.

Posted by: Christopher S. Penn at May 4, 2007 09:30 AM

Unless I've met someone in "real life" or dealt with them online, they don't get added/referred by me. It means I've kept my connections down, but they are all real, and that makes it easier to navigate.

People get so wrapped up in "adding friends" they seem to forget that the point is "making friends".

“an introduction is an endorsement” - that should be a bumper sticker or something..

Posted by: Bob Goyetche at May 4, 2007 09:15 AM

I really do not see why the difference between the electronic connection on linkedin and in the face-to-face world. I do not think that the social interactions have necessarly changed, just the communication tools have, and then you have to do that which you are comfortable with. Anything else does not surve any purpose, at least I do not see it.

Posted by: Dannie Jost at May 4, 2007 09:00 AM

I'm with you, Jeff. Part of the draw of things like LinkedIn seems to be the ability to leap frog real networking situations. For me the game has moved on in a much more interesting direction with Twitter. It's the reason I'm replying to this, for example. Plus you can get a feel for someone's personality a lot better than by reading a static profile. Right now I'm 'meeting' a lot more interesting people via Twitter than I ever did on LinkedIn.

Posted by: Mike at May 4, 2007 08:50 AM

The impriatur is worth a great deal: a reputation.

I don't fret not giving it away lightly.

Getting these kinds of over-the-transom requests makes me growl.

It's not difficult to befriend someone in the digital world to the point where they are more than willing to make the introduction.

Is it possible to make tangible, digitally-based befriending technically easier? Link-love. Comments. What else?

What do *you do to befriend a stranger from whom you would like an introduction? Perhaps your position is enough to assure action.

I don't ask for such things m'self. The introductions just seem to happen of their own accord.

Posted by: Jan / The Faux Press at May 4, 2007 08:45 AM

And you shouldn't be obliged. The fact that something is virtual doesn't mean that it doesn't adhere to normal person to person ethics.

Posted by: Kfir Pravda at May 4, 2007 08:34 AM

May 04, 2007

The “Obligations” of Social Networking

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