The Jeff Pulver Blog: Remember to "Allow for Serendipity" at the next event you attend

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January 27, 2008

Remember to "Allow for Serendipity" at the next event you attend

I appreciated the comments Shannon Clark shared to my recent post: Getting MORE from the Next Event you Attend.

"Some great points - one that I would add to all of the above is "allow for serendipity" - almost without fail the best contacts I make at a conference are unplanned - yes I talk with a lot of speakers and attendees I knew would be there, but almost always it is a random person I meet at a dinner, or while waiting in a line for an event, or just taking a shared ride in an elevator that ends up being the contact that sticks post-event.

One thing which I always try to do, which also helps greatly with serendipity is to plan on at least one and usually more than one meal during the week which I can extend an open invitation to lots of folks to join me at - especially useful is to invite others who don't have plans for dinner at one of the dinners that is not organized by the conference - or if the conference has organized dinners, make sure to be inclusive in inviting people to join you at your table.

It can be hard for many people but at conferences I usually find the folks I share meals with end up being the richest contacts from a given event - so a personal gauge of my own attendance at an event is whether or not I eat any meals alone, if I do, I'm likely doing something wrong.”

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I agree with Shannon, "allowing for serendipity" is a great approach whenever you attend events. Some of the best contacts I have made and kept over the years happened because I was prepared for the serendipity.

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Readers of my blog are invited to join me on both twitter and Facebook.

Tags: conference, speaking, trade show, Shannon Clark, Jeff Pulver

Posted by jeff on January 27, 2008 11:04 AM | Permalink

Additional resources: #140conf events | Watch the Jeff Pulver Show | Jeff's Qik Videos

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The recent Sun story about a 2 year old, Ardi Rizal from an Indonisia fishing village, smoking 40 a day has no doubt fuelled anti smoking groups and attacks on cigarette brands. But this is not a case where you can blame the brands or us, the advertising industry, as is so often the case. There is no subversive advertising to babies going on, not even in the wildest imagination of an extreme anti smoker.

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This is a bit of an homage to your advice to not be shy and Shannon's advice to allow for serendipity.

My friend Neil told me about a book he read called The Luck Factor. According to this book, luck was predictable and patterned, and the single biggest commonality of lucky people was this: that they frequently spoke to strangers.

If you are not shy and allow for serendipity, you can tap into some of your natural luck. Enjoy it!

Posted by: Kaila Colbin at January 27, 2008 10:51 PM

Although I find this post and the one before it quite comprehensive, I will take my chance commenting it, mostly based on a recent book I have just finished reading "Social Intelligence", by Dr. Karl Albrecht (Without propaganda, after all it is not the best book ever).

Dr. Albrecht describes the S.P.A.C.E model as self-acquired set of skills helping the individual to "get alone" better in social occasions (my wording); a social-business event (aka conference) is highly suitable for the model (my opinion), but not only:

So my post is actually more as an extension to the 'Be Social' advice already given by Jeff Pulver.

SPACE stands for Situational Awareness, Presence, Authenticity, Clarity and Empathy.

It has been widely spoken about how important it will be to plan your event objectives; this is twice important where competitiveness and digital life is already sucking most of the air from outdoors social integrations. Traditional social interactions are becoming a rare product to find.

So, if planning and 'getting more' is essential, why wouldn’t we try to plan our behavior when attending an event? (Our social behavior I mean)

Going to an event 'just to have fun' can be considered as a waste of time, but attending it as a 'fun' person to be with - is absolutely not. Without being dramatic, attending an event is a significant event. It is also a cluster of many sub-social-events which can and should occur – Event of Events if you would like.

Making my comment short, I will try to pass you, the unfamiliar readers, through the basics of S.P.A.C.E:

Speaking on Situational Awareness I would like to emphasize 'social space', which is defined as an immediate zone within people are expected (or already doing so) to interact. I.e. exhibiting your shyness is totally 'last year', be bold (yet polite), how bad could it be?

Presence is namely the 'More of YOU, Less of me' concept, literally says, give your fellowman a sufficient amount of 'on air' transmission and comfort to express himself. And please neglect the social hierarchy – if such thing ever existed.

Adopting Authenticity should be achieved by leaving manipulative tricks at home. For that, try thinking on the individual in front of you (regardless gender, religion or race) as your future co-founder in a very successful startup to be, after all, partners shouldn’t manipulate each other!

Clarity - Think when receiving and think even harder when expressing. The way you put yourself out there is highly important. Self respect is an essential tool for being clear and vice versa.

And last but not least – Empathy: since I am a guest here (but feel my self at home ;)) I would finish with a short, simple advice: 'all of us should avoid toxic behavior and show appreciation to each other'.

To sum up, I know the aforementioned sounds a bit flat and obvious; if so, just consider my comment as a foot note, a reminder for being more social.

(I apologize for any English mistakes, English is not my mother tongue)

Posted by: Gab at January 27, 2008 02:57 PM

January 27, 2008

Remember to "Allow for Serendipity" at the next event you attend

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