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August 14, 2008

Thoughts when asked: “What do YOU do?”

When you attend a networking event and are meeting people for the first time, my observation is that the people who are “professionals” who are working in their chosen profession have it easier than others introducing themselves since most people have a general understanding what an: Accountant, Actor, Artist, Director, Doctor, Lawyer, Writer, ... does.

But if your chosen profession is slightly off the beaten path, what do YOU say? How do YOU describe yourself? How do you answer the question, “What Do YOU do?” How much information do you give of yourself to a total stranger when asked?

When attending events in my comfort zone, I generally never have to worry about answering the question about what it is that I do, even if I can’t answer that question with a single word or in two sentences. Mostly because people don’t ask me the question. Most of the time I try to interview the I’m meeting and I don’t always talk much what I am doing.

But when I meet someone new at a social event for the first time and I’m asked the question, “what do I do?”, I ask myself the same question. I say to myself “It is not about what I did but what do I do.” I continue to find these moments humbling. I generally stumble for a moment or two. Even though this is something I feel like I’ve experienced hundreds, maybe thousands of times, I still stumble. At that very moment I think about the various companies that I’m involved with and I think of the one company in my portfolio I want to assume the identity of, and I just go there. These days it means I am chairman of PrimeTimeRewind.TV. Or maybe I will be Chairman of Vivox. Or Maybe Chairman of FreeWorldDialup. Or Maybe co-founder of a super cool stealth mode Israeli startup focusing on the social networking space. Or a maybe a dozen other things. Turns out in real life I am involved with a bunch of companies and I do many things. But not just One thing. And this is a reflection of the reality I’m living in.

Rarely do I tell people that I’m a dreamer. That I love to look into the future and explore the unknown. That I believe in karma. And in having a heart. Instead I may mention Vonage and see if that resonates at all with them. I rarely mention my passion for communications or the fact that I am an active blogger. If asked, I enjoy telling people about my passion for technology innovation and my desire to challenge the status quo but I hardly do. Why? Mostly because depending upon how far I stumbled, most of this really doesn’t really matter because the conversation ended and the person walks away.

So I ask, How do YOU Introduce yourself? How do you answer the question, “What Do YOU do?”

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Please consider leaving a comment. And feel free to find me on twitter and continue this conversation.

Posted by jeff on August 14, 2008 02:11 PM | Permalink

Additional resources: #140conf events | Watch the Jeff Pulver Show | Jeff's Qik Videos

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Posted by: Mimi at August 15, 2008 01:48 PM

I think this question says more about the person asking it than the one who answers it. If the person asking you is looking for a succinct answer that they can wrap up with a bow and tuck away into their file, they might not be after what you seek. When it comes down to it, if I'm actually out there meeting people and trying to get to know them, I'm acutely aware of the fact that there's more to them than just a 2 minute or even 30 minute encounter will tell me. So, if someone I meet is expecting to really "know" me in a short period of time, I understand the thing that is most important to me: that we're not like-minded in our approach to people and the world. I find that point of view to be pretty helpful in eliminating the nervousness that can come when answering those questions :)

Posted by: Robi Ganguly at August 14, 2008 11:31 PM

Jeff, you really nailed it with this post. As a serial entrepreneur, like you, who now manages a portfolio of activities that span the spectrum between investment, management and the social sector, I realize I never have the short answer the questioner is expecting.

I've tried the flip and funny (e.g. "Prince of Metadata") but of all your answers, I liked "dreamer" the best. Good luck in "dumbing down" your stratospheric reality with the day to day reality of a cocktail party.

Posted by: Randall Howard at August 14, 2008 06:35 PM

Excellent blog post Jeff as usual.
I find the question 'What do you do?' so vague that I always answer the same thing: I do what I like and I love what I do - which is very TRUE.
Like you said we all multi-task a lot - some people are more creative others do investments but bottom line we can't describe ourselves in one word. You ask me on Monday I might tell you CEO of an alternative carrier on tuesday co founder of TwitterFone and Friday just a father.
In fact frontier between work and pleasure is getting thinner - which is a totally different subject - that 'what do I do?' becomes 'Who are you?'.

Posted by: Florian SEROUSSI at August 14, 2008 06:01 PM

I like to say off the cuff things like "I help build the Internet". That didn't work so well when the person sitting across from the person I said this to was a director at ICANN, in Vancouver for a meeting :P

Posted by: Boris Mann at August 14, 2008 05:40 PM

I used to tell people I was a writer. (And sometimes I still do, it depends on the company I'm in.) But inevitably the "are you published?" question crops up. Which is so unbelievably loaded, especially since most people asking it don't have a clue about the climate of the publishing industry or that it isn't enough to write well anymore.

I'm rarely in social meet and greet situations where I'm meeting new people, but when I am, I usually just say I take care of the house. Which is met with equal parts jealousy (wish I could stay home while my husband worked) or offense (you're setting back the women's movement you evil lazy woman.)

The truth is that I'm not lazy and I work 8-10 hours a day, but what I've undertaken will take awhile before I can legitimately say "yes, I do this..." without loaded questions being involved.

Posted by: Zoe Winters at August 14, 2008 05:38 PM

I think you're over-thinking this a bit. You don't have to provide some Great Answer every time someone asks you what you do. People aren't looking for a an exact description, but really want to know something about you. I'm sure a doctor or lawyer could make the same mistake if they started talking about the boring specifics that nobody but other doctors or lawyers can understand. "Oh I'm a pediatrician who specializes in childhood melanoma, though I do research and I'm a fellow at the Brookings Institute. Currently I'm studying gold nano-particles and IR lasers to cure cancer" would be waaay to much boring information that few people can relate to for most people.

You can provide a general answer that sounds intriguing (but hopefully not pretentious). If they're interested, they'll ask you more. How about "I'm a technologist", or "I try to connect computers with phones", or if you want to sound pretentious "I invent the future". How about "I try to make technology not suck"?

The idea being that you provide a general enough answer to see what the person might be interested in. The broader the better. Use your large base of experience as an advantage.

Posted by: Steve at August 14, 2008 05:30 PM

Funny: I usually say something along the line of being a dreamer. And then something like "I have passions that don't pay, and jobs that do pay". People never ask about the jobs...

Posted by: Taylor at August 14, 2008 05:25 PM

Great post! Saw link at Twitter. My answers, too, are dependent on the company I'm with and the context I'm in. One thing I've learned is that sometimes others will equate "what you do" with "Who you are." To me those are two totally things, but to some it's the same thing.

Posted by: Stephanie Quilao at August 14, 2008 05:16 PM

Ultimately I guess we're saying that it's hard to sum anyone up succinctly, which is a really affirmative thing to think about in terms of the communities we are members of, or humanity generally. I do two related things professionally and tend to stick to those in networking situations, then build the rest of "me" out as the conversation goes -- and that generally ends up being the interesting part for all parties I think.

Posted by: Alex Gordon at August 14, 2008 05:15 PM

Great post, I stumble with this answer every day, even with people from within the online marketing field, when I say New Media Manger I still get a look of, oh, yeah, New Media Manager... I guess I could just go the Costanza rout and say Marine Biologist. That will save me a few minutes each week.

Posted by: Oren at August 14, 2008 05:09 PM

Thanks very much for this post Jeff. This also resonates with me, very much. I never know what to say; I hardly have the "comfort zone" your describe.

I am a scientist. I am also a government policy guy. I also work for the military. I also blog about 2.0 stuff. I'm also a comedian. Well, the last one is a lie, but you get the point.

It is also true, as someone else said, that the variety of ways to express oneself in the Media 2.0 world probably helps people like us who are extremely eclectic. Among other examples, Twitter suits me very well.

Posted by: Mark Drapeau at August 14, 2008 05:02 PM

But Jeff, you've left out one of the most important when it comes to networking. You didn't say "I travel for breakfast." :-)

Posted by: Ken Camp at August 14, 2008 05:01 PM

JEFF, very insightful post! I am constantly asking myself the same question. I find it hardest when I am working or networking via the computer and my fiance' asks "What are you doing?" I honestly don't really know how to answer her. The entire space of social media is still so new, and as an artist in a growing space I find it is not easy to say what I do.

I also have a day job, but this is not what I am looking to stay at for the rest of my life. So do I say I do what my day job has me do or do I say "I am new media woodturner working in an ever changing social and economic landscape?" "By the way I am a speaker on web 2.0 tools for the arts an an overall community guy."

The second...well, most of the people that I converse with daily in my offline life wouldn't have a clue. However I am finding more and more ways to express myself to others in a language that they can understand. In ten years Jeff, we'll either be mainstream or on the cutting edge of the next sonic boom.

Keith

Posted by: Keith Burtis at August 14, 2008 04:29 PM

Boy, this really resonates with me, Jeff. Even when I was working a regular job, I had problems with this question because I didn't want anyone to think my job title defined me. Sometimes I say, "Currently, I'm..." Sometimes I say "I'm a writer, artist, and technogeek." Sometimes I just go right off the wall and say, "I like to ponder things," which usually starts a conversation about what I like to ponder and allows us to find a common ground. It sound pretentious to say you are a renaissance person, so I sometimes say "I'm a generalist." It's hard to be a generalist in a specialized world, and people don't often know how to respond to that, so infrequently I say "I'm a lifetime learner, currently exploring..." I just don't think "elevator speeches" were made for people like us.

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