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October 08, 2008

Life Transitions

There have been times in my life where I found myself lost in the transition between something I used to do and something I would eventually end up doing. This is what I call a “Life Transition.” This isn’t a change I ever knowingly wished for, but something that happens from time to time.

Until recently I never openly spoke about life transitions. But I found it very reassuring that just about everyone experiences these life transitions over the course of their life. It is just that sometimes we don’t realize what is going on while we are having the experience.

One thing I have found to be consistent across my life transitions is the underlying feeling of personal freedom which is unleashed as a side effect of the process.

Over the years, I have learned to take advantage of this new found freedom to explore new ideas and opportunities. This freedom doesn’t appear at first but only after a period of weeks (sometimes months) where I reflect back, clear my mind and accept what is happening to me and then think about what may be next. This isn’t a time to feel sorry for yourself but rather a time to gain internal strength and confidence for what lies ahead.

For myself, I now look at life transitions as a time where I am given an opportunity to reboot myself and redefine who I want to be and what I really wanted to be doing. A time of introspection. A time to grow. A time to transform into the next version of who I am.

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Please consider leaving a comment. Please let me know how you deal with your life transitions and what you have learned from the process. What advise would you offer to someone who is experiencing a life transition for the first time?

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Posted by jeff on October 8, 2008 10:31 AM | Permalink

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Comments

Posted by: injection molding at June 16, 2009 09:26 PM

Jeff, this is so true!! I am on the life transition right now and your words are really inspiring. Do you mind if I copy this to my blog? I will specify this comes from your blog. Thanks.

Posted by: Zhen at November 1, 2008 10:17 PM

Those transition periods usually lead to accelerated growth and opportunity. They also let you know just how "stagnate" things probably just were. In my humble experience the man/woman who takes advantage of these periods...is rare. Relish these moments.

Posted by: doug mitchell at October 22, 2008 05:49 PM

Those transition periods usually lead to accelerated growth and opportunity. They also let you know just how "stagnate" things probably just were. In my humble experience the man/woman who takes advantage of these periods...is rare. Relish these moments.

Posted by: doug mitchell at October 22, 2008 05:48 PM

Thank you so much for this post. It's inspiring, refreshing, encouraging to read about Life's Transitions in the words of someone I admire.

I'm in the middle of yet another such transition. For me, these periods tend to happen about every oh, 5-8 years and last about 6-18 months. This is about my 6 or 7th one.

At this stage in my life, I can better see when they're developing, and can better use the time to focus on their growth and learning, revitalizing and recuperating, qualities.

I, too, am thankful for them. Bad habits are broken. New ones replace them with better results. And regular doses of humility and learning are good for me. I seem to require them, anyway.

While I wouldn't wish them on anyone, I wouldn't have accomplished near as much without them. And while it's very difficult to explain them to people especially while they're going on...all I do is keep the faith and know...it's a time of change, change is always good, and another higher plateau awaits. Be patient.

Thank you SO very much for this post. It made my day, my week, maybe my month.

Posted by: Zane Safrit at October 22, 2008 02:09 PM

For me, the "transitions" are all about learning how to be more patient and flexible. I find it tough not to have a ton of expectations and always second guess things both before and during transitions, rather than just doing the best I can and having a little trust that things are going to be fine. My wife and I just had our first baby a couple of months ago, and I had this overload of anxiety prior to about how the finances / time / energy equation could possibly handle all of the new responsibilities of parenthood, along w/ my start-up. Now here I am, and things have never been better. Rather than getting so unglued in anticipation of the transition, I would have been better off having a little more trust and letting go of all that worry. We can really get in our own way during transitions.

Posted by: TravisV at October 9, 2008 10:49 AM

Shana Tova &
Gmar Hatima Tova

Posted by: Fabian Nirman at October 9, 2008 03:52 AM

I really appreciate the openness. Transitions are unsettling, and few people are willing to share uncertainty or mistakes. Thank you.

@Robert: I actually disagree that most humans are by nature agents of change. We resist change until proven it's in our best interests to change. Maybe locked up and deep down we all are, but few people actually act on that nature.

Posted by: Taylor Davidson at October 8, 2008 03:07 PM

You are absolutely right. You are just where you need to be at this time in your life, and you're on a new, amazing, and ultimately satisfying journey.

I'm a firm believer that, in order for mental, emotional, and spiritual growth, we lead ourselves to exactly where we want to be. Most often it's done subconsciously, and creates uncomfortable, even painful times in our lives. They don't call them "growing pains" for nothing!

It's good to see that you're taking the time to reflect and "transform".

Warm Regards,

Holly T

Posted by: Holly Tully at October 8, 2008 12:17 PM

"A time to grow. A time to transform into the next version of who I am." That's exactly what I thought not long ago; then I took my decisions. At the beginning I was scared thinking of my family and the risks related to changes. But as time passes, the overall design of the future becomes more complete and clear. If I should suggest something, I'd recommend not to give up, not to look back at what it was but continue to refine ideas for the future.

Posted by: cacelotto at October 8, 2008 12:14 PM

Interesting topic. I think it is a part of the nature of humans to be agents of change.

We can imagine a future that does not exist, and we have the tools (brain and hands) to create that future. We often live where our food does not grow and where we must have shelter to survive. We have to adjust the world around us, and therefore make change happen.

And yet, we yearn for things to remain the same. We want job security. We fear death, our own, and those around us.

I've have learned to see events in my life as adventures...
- usually an adventure begins when things go 'wrong.' (Here 'wrong' means that is not what I planned for or hoped for. A friend, who is a nun, said to me, "Want to make god laugh? Tell her your plans."
- it does not feel like an adventure at the time.

As a general rule, I've learned to consider the possibility of embracing the new adventures that presents themselves (instead of regretting my dashed expectations). In many cases (maybe most cases) here is the opportunity for new personal growth.

Best wishes... rjb

Posted by: Robert Ballantyne at October 8, 2008 11:55 AM

The most important aspect of managing life transitions is to be conscious, aware of the changes that are taking place.

The times when I have not paid attention to these transitions - they have been costly in terms of consuming my attention and energy.

I have learned that this is a great time to review my vision, goals and objectives and give them a thorough going over. Then preparing a plan, specifically, I take time to adjust my "ideal week".

My "ideal week" is partitioned into blocks of time that represent the most important activities for me during this stage of my life. It covers my daily activities from waking up to going to sleep. It is the big picture of how I hope my week will turn out.

It is like making appointments with my destiny and once I get it just right I do my best to stick to it. It keeps me level and even keeled. One important note, meeting with key people in my life and sharing my idea week has been helpful in terms of feedback and their support to help me keep my commitment.

Posted by: Greg Balanko-Dickson at October 8, 2008 11:31 AM

Your "new found freedom to explore new ideas and opportunities" has to be key.

But you know, I find myself less exploring new and more revisiting appetites I set aside or shelved out of what then seemed a sense of reasonable responsibility. Not quite a la recherche de, but something like pressing pause to reconsider.

Posted by: Ben Tremblay at October 8, 2008 11:24 AM

Jeff - best of luck with your current transition. I look forward to reading about its evolution and I hope that where you are heading will be as fulfilling and meaningful as where you have been.

Kind regards,
Mark H.

Posted by: mark_hayward at October 8, 2008 10:47 AM

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